So remember how in my last blog I was like super happy to be in San Diego and that I was really happy here? Well it’s like the universe was like ‘Psh we can’t let this happen. Let’s screw this up’.
Today I dislocated my shoulder again. I dislocated it back in November and it was a bitch. However, this time it is slightly more problematic. First of all there’s the fact that I care for 3 kids and you need 2 fully functional arms for that. I can’t drive, I can’t lift things, I can’t do anything. So that’s issue number one. The second issue is that this is the second dislocation in 5 months and my shoulder joint has some serious grooves in it which makes it dislocate more easily. To fix these grooves, I will need surgery. I don’t need to have surgery tomorrow but until I do my shoulder could dislocate while brushing my hair if I make the wrong move – no exaggeration, this is the example that the nurse used – and do I want to take that risk when working with kids? What if it happens when I’m alone with the kids. What if – God forbid – it happens when I’m holding the baby and I drop her or something. I don’t feel like it’s the responsible thing to do.
Basically there are 3 options for me right now: 1. I stick it out till my time here is up and basically spend the next 8 months afraid of every move I make, 2. I cut my year short and head home and basically cut my losses, find something else to do, or 3. I go home, get the surgery, get rehab and then come back to the states. This last option seems like the best one to me. But there are some things that make this problematic. I will probably have to pay for my own ticket home for example. Where am I gonna find that kind of money. Still, this is what I would go for if I had the choice I think.
I’m gonna have to make an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon to see how damaged and bad the situation exactly is. But still, the last time the surgeon told me that the first 3 months is going to be high risk for re-dislocation, and I wasn’t lifting 20 pound babies then every day.
In any case, my life sucks. The pain is okay at the moment, US hospitals give good drugs. Keep your fingers crossed for me, please.