Welcome Home

I’m back!

And with back I mean back home in the Netherlands. Incidentally I’ve been home since Tuesday the 22nd but I needed a couple of days to settle back in and to gather my thoughts about things.

Yeah, I found out I think on Thursday the 17th that they were giving me Easter weekend there, which made me very happy. I packed up my bags and left my hostfamily on Friday morning, which was very sad. I went with my hostmom to take the kids to school and said goodbye to them there. It happened in the usual way kids do things: quickly. They’re pretty used to au pairs coming and going by now so it was almost like ‘okay bye see ya later’ and off they went. I had a little cuddle with the baby and then my hostmom drove me to my friend’s house where I would be staying the weekend. This didn’t really have a reason but I just though since I would probably spend as much time as I could with my friends, I might as well stay there for the weekend. My friend was going to take her hostkids to the Willis tower in the City so I went with them and got to check one last thing off my bucket list.

The rest of the weekend was pretty much awesome. My friends bought me dinner on Friday night to say goodbye, on Saturday I went to Chinatown and at night we had a relaxing evening at home watching movies. Sunday it was Easter and we had a great day with my friends hostfamily. I ended up injuring myself during the egg-hunt when I ran into a tree and cut my forehead. yay me.

And then Monday came and it was travel day.. I hated that day. I had lunch with my friends and then Sandra drove me over to the airport at 2:30. I was hoping to get some help with my suitcases because of my shoulder but as soon as I got there it was pretty obvious that that wasn’t going to happen. So there I was, one busted shoulder and 4 really heavy bags. I was a sweaty mess and not happy.

On the plane I had a middle seat in the middle of the plane. It was like this:

XX | | X ME X | | XX

So not only couldn’t I see out of the window to say goodbye to Chicago one last time (*sob* I’m sentimental like that okay?) but I also couldn’t get comfortable enough to fall asleep and I pretty much ended up being awake for the 8+ hour flight. This sucked because as the flight was overnight it would have been perfect to battle Jetlag but as it was I ended up in Amsterdam at 9:30 am on 10 minutes sleep. On the other hand, I did get to read about half of Stephen King’s Firestarter. Awesome book by the way, I hope I get to finish it soon.

It’s been very weird being back. Seeing my family and friends has been great of course but on the other hand I miss my friends back in Chicago a lot too. That first day I was sitting in my bedroom and I was looking around and thinking how the hell did I get here. I was not supposed to be there for 8 – 14 months! It was so weird.

I just keep comparing everything to how it was in America. The biggest thing that I need to get used to again is the food. You always hear how American food is so ‘rich’ but I didn’t really know what that meant until I got back from the US. See, I didn’t really notice anything when I first went out there but now that I’m back, I’m hungry all. the. time. I guess the food there is different, somehow heavier than the food here? I don’t know. Maybe it’s just the adjusting period. I dunno.

I haven’t been doing much since I got back except for going to the gym. I’m so proud of myself, I didn’t want to sit still once I got back home so I got myself a gym membership (which is free till June 1st anyway because of a promo) and I’ve been going every day except for Saturday. Feels good 🙂 And I visited my doctor to get an MRSA test in prep for the appointment with the orthopedic surgeon this Thursday. Looking forward to that. Oh yeah. Yay. Surgery.

Other than that I’ve been catching up on TV shows that I didn’t have a chance to watch while in the US. Mainly I’ve been watching Reign. Bash. Francis. Sigh..

So that’s me for now. I’m doing good but also I’m sad. I miss my friends. Lots. I put their pictures on my wall. I hope I get to see them again soon. On the upside, more time for blogging!

That story prompt book that I told you about before? It’s totally awesome and I have several stores in mind that I will share with you soon. Maybe I’ll write them out tomorrow.

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What’s happening?

No more Au Pair adventures. It makes me sad. This is just about my life now.. Yuk.

Anyway, I’m still in the US for the time being. The insurance agency contacted me yesterday and said they had trouble obtaining the medical records which they need for booking me a flight home. If they wait for it to come in, it would have taken something like 3 weeks and that’s just not an option. I can’t stay here for three weeks imposing on my hostfamily without income. So I went by the hospital myself today to get a copy and I will send it to them tonight or tomorrow I guess. Then once they receive it it’ll take like a day or 2 to get a flight sorted. My friends are hoping that they’ll let me stay for Easter weekend because the flights are so expensive around this time but who knows what’ll happen. I do and don’t want to go home as soon as possible. I do because I feel very uncomfortable living off my hostfamily without doing anything in return, but on the other hand I don’t because I don’t want to leave my friends behind. It’s all very awkward. *Sigh*

I’m spending these free days I have here with my friends as much as possible. I see them almost every afternoon and evening until I leave. Tomorrow we’re going to the Navy Pier, I am going to have to see that before I leave. It’s a requirement.

Meanwhile, I bought this beauty for myself as a bit of a consolation gift. It is literally a book with 642 writing prompts and it’s amazing. I’ve been eyeing it pretty much ever since I got to the US and saw that one of my hostkids had a similar book only with drawing instead of writing. It’s really awesome. I plan on posting my writings on here if I come up with good ideas. I’ll make it a series or something and if you feel so inclined, you can do the same.

So that’s it for now I guess. I’m in Limbo but at least I’ve got my friends here to keep me company. I will miss those girls so much.

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Sunday night shenanigans

 

The Verdict – Au Pair Adventures

So yesterday I had an appointment with the Orthopedic Surgeon. Long story short, nothing I didn’t know yet.

I have a 95% chance of recurrence at any time, without significant cause. I could dislocate it doing something that you shouldn’t even be thinking about. This will not allow me to keep working with kids, it’s simply irresponsible. This means that I will be going home.

The option I told you about before about getting surgery and then returning to the States is out, my community counselor found out that I could only leave the country for a maximum of 3 weeks. Well, in three weeks I won’t even have seen a hospital yet never mind be in good enough shape to return. So this is pretty much it.

The doctor did declare me unfit for work, which should mean that the insurance would at least pay my flight home. I don’t know when this would be but I’m guessing it won’t be too long from now. I can’t imagine they’d let me work for a few more weeks when I’ve been declared unfit for work. I think it’ll be somewhere next week. I hope I will have enough time to get some of the stuff I was going to get throughout the year, and to say goodbye to everyone. Man this sucks. Eugh. I swear I want to punch a wall.

I am trying very hard not to be too caught up in everything that I will be missing out on, but it’s hard. My friend and I were planning a road trip from Chicago to Seattle in a couple of weeks, I was going to go to Cape Cod for 2 weeks with the family. Not to mention all the travelling I would have done in the weekends. And then there’s the money. I will be going from $250 a week to $0 a week while my expenses will still be the same. Not to mention the money that this earlier than expected departure will cost me. I’ll most likely have to pay some money back to the family for the educational costs that they made for me that I will not be able to complete. Then there’s the extra suitcase I’ll need to buy and the fees for flying with an extra suitcase. And then all the medical stuff back home will be about €350. Not to mention that if my insurance decides that they won’t be covering me because it happened before, I will have a several thousand dollar high bill to my name. My life. Don’t you envy me?

Still, I keep saying to everyone, I didn’t exactly sit still in the 4 months that I have been here. I’ve been to New York, Nashville, San Diego and Chicago. That’s not bad is it? I made some amazing, life-long friends that I did a lot of exciting things with. I took every opportunity that was handed to me and I am glad I did.

I try to keep looking forward. After my surgery I am going to try and find a job as soon as possible so I can start saving money. My friend Tania is getting married in South Africa in October and I am going to try my damnedest to make it there. I would like to see my friend Sandra in France and maybe even work there. I would go back to the UK to visit Leigh if I can find the money, see my friend Saskia in Germany, my friend Kathi in Austria and ultimately I want to go to Australia with Sandra. So I will need to get to saving as soon as possible. If anyone has got a job for me, let me know.

I am not giving up on my travel plans. I still want to do everything and see much more before I settle down somewhere.

It still sucks though. I wasn’t done yet.. not by a long shot.

God I’m so angry.

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Sunset Cliffs in San Diego. I’m so lucky I have had the chance to see this.

Fuck my life – Au Pair Adventures

So remember how in my last blog I was like super happy to be in San Diego and that I  was really happy here? Well it’s like the universe was like ‘Psh we can’t let this happen. Let’s screw this up’.

Today I dislocated my shoulder again. I dislocated it back in November and it was a bitch. However, this time it is slightly more problematic. First of all there’s the fact that I care for 3 kids and you need 2 fully functional arms for that. I can’t drive, I can’t lift things, I can’t do anything. So that’s issue number one. The second issue is that this is the second dislocation in 5 months and my shoulder joint has some serious grooves in it which makes it dislocate more easily. To fix these grooves, I will need surgery. I don’t need to have surgery tomorrow but until I do my shoulder could dislocate while brushing my hair if I make the wrong move – no exaggeration, this is the example that the nurse used – and do I want to take that risk when working with kids? What if it happens when I’m alone with the kids. What if – God forbid – it happens when I’m holding the baby and I drop her or something. I don’t feel like it’s the responsible thing to do.

Basically there are 3 options for me right now: 1. I stick it out till my time here is up and basically spend the next 8 months afraid of every move I make, 2. I cut my year short and head home and basically cut my losses, find something else to do, or 3. I go home, get the surgery, get rehab and then come back to the states. This last option seems like the best one to me. But there are some things that make this problematic. I will probably have to pay for my own ticket home for example. Where am I gonna find that kind of money. Still, this is what I would go for if I had the choice I think.

I’m gonna have to make an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon to see how damaged and bad the situation exactly is. But still, the last time the surgeon told me that the first 3 months is going to be high risk for re-dislocation, and I wasn’t lifting 20 pound babies then every day.

In any case, my life sucks. The pain is okay at the moment, US hospitals give good drugs. Keep your fingers crossed for me, please.

Me at 10 am and 1 pm. Yay me.
Me at 10 am and 1 pm. Yay me.