Live Movie Review: The Conjuring

the conjuringIn 1971, Carolyn and Roger Parren move their family into a dilapidated Rhode Island farm house and soon strange things start happening around it with escalating nightmarish terror. In desperation, Carolyn contacts the noted paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren, to examine the house. What the Warrens discover is a whole area steeped in a satanic haunting that is now targeting the Parren family wherever they go. To stop this evil, the Warrens will have to call upon all their skills and spiritual strength to defeat this spectral menace at its source that threatens to destroy everyone involved (IMDB)

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00:00 I have no idea what this movie is about but I’m guessing it’s scary. Okay, lets go!

00:30  Creepy old doll face cliché. Always works well in the horror genre.

00:48  Oh it’s actually about the doll. Is it alive? Is it a poltergeist? Is it possessed? Is it evil? Or are these people just insane? We shall see.

01:00  We’re going with ghost then.

02:00  Creepy creepy doll. I approve of the amount of creepiness.

02:30  So.. you give a ghost permission to ‘live’ in the doll, then you’re surprised when creepy stuff starts happening and you think you can solve it by dumping the doll into a dumpster? Seriously?

04:55  What we’ve been watching is actually a film within a film cliché. Subject for a college course on the supernatural. But it did actually happen.

06:50  Family with 5 kids, move into an abandoned house. Oldest daughter didn’t want to come cliché. Dog refuses to enter the house. Gee, feeling the mood yet?

10:00  Discovering creepy hidden cellar. It’s boarded up for a reason, guys.

14:26 All the clocks in the house apparently stopped at 03:07. Ohkay.

15:00 I swear if the dog is dead I will kill the movie makers.

15:20  There will be some dead movie makers.

15:50 We’re apparently switching between the family with a dead dog and the demon hunting couple with a room full of haunted/possessed crap.

17:20 Apparently the demon hunting couple also has a kid. This is not going to end well.

19:20  This reminds me of Paranormal Activity. Ghost randomly pulls the girls leg.

22:15 The little girl who bangs her head against the wall while sleepwalking made me giggle.

23:00 I am always confused that in these horror movies when people move into an old house, no one ever thinks to paint the walls. They are always yellow and stained. Why??

24:50 of course the smallest child can see the freaking ghost.

26:30 It’s not April hiding in the closet, mom.

28:00 Of course the dad has a job which takes him away from home for weeks at a time. Shocker.

30:30 I do smell some Paranormal Activity rip offs here.

35:45 I predict a lot of jump scares in this movie. The paintings falling gave me a near heart attack.

37:30  ‘Whoever’s in there I’m going to lock in you in now!’ – Mom. Famous last words.

38:58 Heart attack # 2. They are always right behind you in the dark.

40:00 I think it’s about time the family meets the demon hunting couple.

41:00 … holy shit. I do have to say that this movie gives you that feeling of nope nope nope. Nope. Nooooooopeeee.

43:50 The demon hunting couple finally meet the family.

49:00 If it wasn’t so possessed and evil, this house would be a very nice place to live. With some remodeling that is.

55:07  My own door just randomly opened. It was the wind. Just the wind. Nothing to worry about. just the wind.. *dies*

55:30 The experts arrive. Who you gonna call?

59:40  ‘What’s in the bottle?’  – ‘Holy Water’. I swear, Sam and Dean are going to bust through these doors any minute.

01:02:00 The experts are looking for evidence. Of course you’re not going to get it. Duh.

01:05:50 I knew the mom was going to be the first. No surprises there.

01:09:00 Please be careful, officer Brad. Don’t follow the scary dead person.

01:14:00 Creepy things are happening here.. Hidden spots, nooses, dead people. This movie is the scariest I’ve seen in a while.

01:19:00 I called it. I said that the demon hunters having a child would lead to trouble. Didn’t I call it? Didn’t I?

01:22:30 Don’t go into the demon hunter’s workroom little girl. Don’t do it. — oh shit the Annabelle doll from the first part of the movie was missing. Shit. Not good.

01:26:04 Do have to say, there’s a lot going on in this movie. Maybe a little too much? Crisis at the couple’s house, crisis at the family. Back and forth and back and forth.

01:30:00 It’s a really good movie but it does use a lot of clichés and a lot is very predictable.

01:42:00 And apparently it’s based on a true story. Great. Awesome. I hate you.

Moral of the story: Always listen to the freaking dog, okay?

Man that was intense, okay? I need a moment to calm down while I watch something fluffy.

Okay so now I’ve had the chance to get my heart rate back to normal I can’t start writing this review. I enjoyed this movie a lot. I always enjoy watching horror movies but lately there haven’t been a lot of films that have been able to really hold my attention. This one did, though. I guess a couple of negatives were that it used a lot of clichés throughout the film and it was very predictable. But I enjoyed it despite that and I really got kinda scared!

I rate this movie a 4 out of 5. I would like to see more of Ed and Lorraine Warren’s adventures. I read that the Amityville Horror was one of them as well.. maybe a remake?

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Author: EMK

Just blogging away in my free time while I try to make something of my life

3 thoughts on “Live Movie Review: The Conjuring”

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